NOT A PREQUEL
By Mike :)
Heres a part of the saga I just remembered. This part takes place right before the "Let the Gouda Times Roll!" wars, but its NOT A PREQUEL cuz I SAID SO. *ahem* This part of the story is referred to as "The Return of Capt. Caf!" which ironically wasn't a return as in Capt. Caf became no more and then decided to pick up the superhero title again, but rather, Capt. Caf went on a "journey" and then made a physical return to the Side of Flaming Random Pork N' Beans with a Pinch of Salt Club. The events of this story take place when Capt. Caf was fairly new to the superhero business. As all well seasoned superheroes know, your costume only has to mask the part of your face around your eyes in order to be completely incognito to the rest of the world. Capt. Caf went on her first solo mission to a small wasteland planet where their were rumors of a secret black market snack business being run. Being new, Capt. Caf was going around with pretty much a ski mask on her face. As you should know, ski masks don't allow for the best peripheral vision, whereas the thin leather straps that lie skin flat provide for the full range of vision. This isn't a good thing in the superhero business, where you have to practically be able to see behind your head in order to know when to reach over your shoulder to grab that cheap crook who would dare attack you from behind, only to be punished by being grasped firmly, slung over your shoulder, and thrown into two or three of his approaching buddies. However, Capt. Caf, being new, couldn't see that one fateful crook coming, an oversight that caused her to be captured! The crook that captured her was none other than SWISSOLF CHEESLER! (PERSONAL VENDETTA'D *dum dum dummmm* He was later promoted to Evil Genius, but we know how that worked out >.<) At this point in the series, Magnus Wafer had been nothing more than a successful merchant... or so he seemed, however, it was during Capt. Caf's captivity that his true intentions were revealed. When Magnus heard from his henchmen that they had captured none other than the prodigy Capt. Caf, he was encouraged to reveal his master plan in an attempt to win Capt. Caf over to the bad side and rule the universe! The way he figured it, regardless of whether or not Capt. Caf would turn to the bad side, he thought he still had the upper hand having recently captured one of the superheroes' own, meaning they would be short of hands and he would be able to win this war he was planning. Well, needless to say, Capt. Caf was insulted by his offer, and was imprisoned only to be released when she either A) Became evil B) Was executed, which isn't reallly being released, but it somewhat removes her from the position of being "captured" so its a form of "release" but its certainly not the most pleasant one. C) Be rescued. D) Rescue herself. Being the resourceful superhero she was, Capt. Caf opted for option D. She commenced asking her security guard a series of annoying questions, with the intent of annoying him so much that he would get close enough to her prison for her to snag the keys. However, instead of making the guard approach the prison, he instead threw the keys at Capt. Caf and stormed off mumbling something about having a bad day and that his wife left him and that he was sick and tired of this whole "evil mastermind taking over the world plot" and that he didn't care for the whole atmosphere of the evil space base, especially since they had to cut back on the employees salaries in order to get it a wicked paint job that he didn't care too much since it was a chameleon paint job of green and gold, his two least favorite colors because they reminded him of his rival college football team that beat them all the time and he also apparently never wanted the job, but had come by it because his father was a guard for an evil mastermind, and HIS father was a guard for an evil mastermind and HIS father was a guard for an evil mastermind, and frankly, the current guard was a little sick and tired of the bad reputation of his family history and the lack of job security due to the high risk nature of jobs such as his. After quickly unlocking her prison, Capt. Caf immediately ran for the escape pods, in an attempt to make a quick escape, but unfortunately, due to new Evil Genius Corp. Company Policy, Capt. Caf had to wait in a really long line to get a release form to fill out denying all claims and responsibilities of Evil Genius Corp. for damages sustained while riding in an escape pod, and then wait in an equally long line to get help with section A - 6 of form BGX48. After completing the form, the fruits of several hours of waiting in several lines, Capt. Caf finally had the release form stamped and approved for takeoff. She almost didn't make it on account of the Identification section of the release form requiring occupation and name, but fortunately, the representative that handles that section was out sick that day, so she got to bypass it. Capt. Caf FINALLY made her triumphant RETURN to the Side of Flaming Random Pork N' Beans with a Pinch of Salt Club in time to warn them of the oncoming assault. However, since the whole issue with the release form took several hours to complete, the attack was well underway by the time she got there, which is why her return gets to be the key part of the story, because without her, the Random and Not-So-Random superheroes didn't stand a chance to defend themselves against the onslaught of Magnus Wafer. And thus begins the "Let the gouda times Roll!" Wars.
Heres a part of the saga I just remembered. This part takes place right before the "Let the Gouda Times Roll!" wars, but its NOT A PREQUEL cuz I SAID SO. *ahem* This part of the story is referred to as "The Return of Capt. Caf!" which ironically wasn't a return as in Capt. Caf became no more and then decided to pick up the superhero title again, but rather, Capt. Caf went on a "journey" and then made a physical return to the Side of Flaming Random Pork N' Beans with a Pinch of Salt Club. The events of this story take place when Capt. Caf was fairly new to the superhero business. As all well seasoned superheroes know, your costume only has to mask the part of your face around your eyes in order to be completely incognito to the rest of the world. Capt. Caf went on her first solo mission to a small wasteland planet where their were rumors of a secret black market snack business being run. Being new, Capt. Caf was going around with pretty much a ski mask on her face. As you should know, ski masks don't allow for the best peripheral vision, whereas the thin leather straps that lie skin flat provide for the full range of vision. This isn't a good thing in the superhero business, where you have to practically be able to see behind your head in order to know when to reach over your shoulder to grab that cheap crook who would dare attack you from behind, only to be punished by being grasped firmly, slung over your shoulder, and thrown into two or three of his approaching buddies. However, Capt. Caf, being new, couldn't see that one fateful crook coming, an oversight that caused her to be captured! The crook that captured her was none other than SWISSOLF CHEESLER! (PERSONAL VENDETTA'D *dum dum dummmm* He was later promoted to Evil Genius, but we know how that worked out >.<) At this point in the series, Magnus Wafer had been nothing more than a successful merchant... or so he seemed, however, it was during Capt. Caf's captivity that his true intentions were revealed. When Magnus heard from his henchmen that they had captured none other than the prodigy Capt. Caf, he was encouraged to reveal his master plan in an attempt to win Capt. Caf over to the bad side and rule the universe! The way he figured it, regardless of whether or not Capt. Caf would turn to the bad side, he thought he still had the upper hand having recently captured one of the superheroes' own, meaning they would be short of hands and he would be able to win this war he was planning. Well, needless to say, Capt. Caf was insulted by his offer, and was imprisoned only to be released when she either A) Became evil B) Was executed, which isn't reallly being released, but it somewhat removes her from the position of being "captured" so its a form of "release" but its certainly not the most pleasant one. C) Be rescued. D) Rescue herself. Being the resourceful superhero she was, Capt. Caf opted for option D. She commenced asking her security guard a series of annoying questions, with the intent of annoying him so much that he would get close enough to her prison for her to snag the keys. However, instead of making the guard approach the prison, he instead threw the keys at Capt. Caf and stormed off mumbling something about having a bad day and that his wife left him and that he was sick and tired of this whole "evil mastermind taking over the world plot" and that he didn't care for the whole atmosphere of the evil space base, especially since they had to cut back on the employees salaries in order to get it a wicked paint job that he didn't care too much since it was a chameleon paint job of green and gold, his two least favorite colors because they reminded him of his rival college football team that beat them all the time and he also apparently never wanted the job, but had come by it because his father was a guard for an evil mastermind, and HIS father was a guard for an evil mastermind and HIS father was a guard for an evil mastermind, and frankly, the current guard was a little sick and tired of the bad reputation of his family history and the lack of job security due to the high risk nature of jobs such as his. After quickly unlocking her prison, Capt. Caf immediately ran for the escape pods, in an attempt to make a quick escape, but unfortunately, due to new Evil Genius Corp. Company Policy, Capt. Caf had to wait in a really long line to get a release form to fill out denying all claims and responsibilities of Evil Genius Corp. for damages sustained while riding in an escape pod, and then wait in an equally long line to get help with section A - 6 of form BGX48. After completing the form, the fruits of several hours of waiting in several lines, Capt. Caf finally had the release form stamped and approved for takeoff. She almost didn't make it on account of the Identification section of the release form requiring occupation and name, but fortunately, the representative that handles that section was out sick that day, so she got to bypass it. Capt. Caf FINALLY made her triumphant RETURN to the Side of Flaming Random Pork N' Beans with a Pinch of Salt Club in time to warn them of the oncoming assault. However, since the whole issue with the release form took several hours to complete, the attack was well underway by the time she got there, which is why her return gets to be the key part of the story, because without her, the Random and Not-So-Random superheroes didn't stand a chance to defend themselves against the onslaught of Magnus Wafer. And thus begins the "Let the gouda times Roll!" Wars.
posted by Kelsey at 7:39 PM
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